We Can Be Friends Though, Right?

When witnessing a friend go through a breakup it is imperative that you be the right amount of supportive and understanding yet, have an appropriate amount of distain for their ex-significant other.  Almost every time you hear those dreaded words… “But don’t worry we’re still going to be friends!”  Upon hearing this how do you keep yourself from smacking your grief stricken friend square across her pretty little face?

Removed from the situation, one can probably think clearly and see the insanity in this statement.  But, how is it when people break up they still attempt to stay friends, when it will ultimately just drive the other person crazy. There is a reason you broke up in the first place correct?  Can we suddenly remove our attraction to the person enough to stay friends with them?  What is it exactly that you plan on talking about when you do stay friends.  The person he is dating? His family and friends who you used to hang out with and care for and now no longer see? Do you hang out together, talk on the phone, go bowling?  All of these factors just continuously worry me that after a break up that the outcome might just be continuous devastation.

It can be argued that after a certain amount of time exes can become friends and you probably are thinking of a story right now in which a friend of yours is now best friends with their ex.  True, once you get the crazy bitch out of your system it probably is very possible. However, once the relationship is over wouldn’t you just prefer to have that person gently fade away so that you are left with the pleasant memories of what you had, not a constant reminder of what you don’t have?

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6 thoughts on “We Can Be Friends Though, Right?

  1. it’s very true. I have been attempting to be friends with my ex, because it is hard to cut them out of your life completely, but all attempts always end up the same and there is really no point. Its nice to think that you could remain friends and some days I think I want to be friends with him again, whilst others you wonder what the point would be.

    • I think Jenn raised some good questions with this blog. As you might know there are two of us writting The Game, Jenn and myself, Cole. But I am glad that you brought up some of your experience. I have had a similar break up where I thought I could be friends with my ex. I believe you can, I mean where does that love go? It doesn’t just go to the next person they start dating. Your love was more than just a feeling that can be transfered to someone else. I think people can still be friends with an ex, but not right away, people need the space to heal before they can attempt the friend stage.
      Thanks for the reply and I hope you keep telling us what you think:)

  2. I think it depends on whether you were friends with them before you started dating. If you were never friends in the first place, what makes you think you can be after the breakup? I also think it depends on the context of the breakup… if you broke up because one of you have changed, then I think it is safe to say that you have changed enough that you wouldn’t get along as lovers or as friends.

    • I love this point, but like I mentioned in the comment above love or feelings are not so easy to just disregard, sometimes we just want to hold on to those feelings, afraid that they will be gone forever if we aren’t able to even maintain a friendship.

  3. Coming from the point of view of a person that has heard that line, and used that line, I understand both sides to the story. Telling someone you would like to continue just being friends is just an easy out to explaining the deep possible emotion that you wish not to talk about. It can also be used to hide the voice inside you saying “I’m just not interested anymore”.
    But I know how personally hurt it can feel to have someone say that to you as well. In all honesty I believe that that phrase is almost worst to hear than “I don’t love you anymore”.
    Needless to say, people will continue to hear it/say it. It’s just yet another complication of human nature that we have yet to understand.

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