The Missing Lube

One night when I was out for dinner with some friends I got this frantic text message from my room-mate Robin, “OMG!!! I need 2 tell U something cray!”  So naturally I gulped down the rest of my dirty vodka martini and yelled, “Bill please!”

Robin’s love story is amazing and I felt that it was only my duty to share it with you.  So lets start at the beginning.  Robin purchased this extremely expensive lube for her and her boyfriend to use during the horizontal tango. Sex was never the same after that.  Robin had found a new love…. her Aqua Lube.  So you could only understand her distraught when one day her boyfriend had said he misplaced it.  She never saw her love again… her Aqua Lube.

Many months later Robin was visiting Ottawa on a business trip and her boyfriend’s parents offered her to stay with them.  So after a long day she jumped in the shower and  when she reached for the body wash she screamed.  It was her long-lost love…. her Aqua Lube.  Her boyfriend’s mother must have picked up the lube after a horizontal tango session thinking it was body wash and put it on the shower rack.  Unfortunately her love….the Aqua Lube, was almost finished.  Visions of her boyfriend’s mother slathering herself with the lube started torturing her.

She quickly stumbled out of the shower, all wet and slippery, and had enough stamina to send that text I received during dinner.  She then started feeling slightly fulfilled that she found her love… the Aqua Lube.  She looked at the lube, listened to make sure the coast was clear, and grabbed her almost-empty bottle.  So now, sitting right on her night table, all safe and sound in TO lies her love…the Aqua Lube.


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