It’s Hard To Love Me

I am hard to love.  It’s as simple as that.  I expect way too much, and I am hard to please.  I am always in my head and sometimes have the hardest time communicating what I really feel.  And most of the time I really don’t know what I want.

It may be the “black swan” within me from my past career in the theatre that makes me such an emotional person.  And most times I have a hard time filtering my feelings in private before I explode in public… but I am working on it.

Or maybe it’s the fact that I am always in my head constantly over analyzing things that should be simple, sprung from the constant need to be perfect.  I work so hard for what I have, and when I fall short I take it out on me and sometimes people around me.

I am always happy and professional on the outside, but sometimes, on the inside, I just want to cry.  And maybe I won’t feel like this in a few years… or even a few weeks.  But one thing I know…. it’s hard to love me.

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