Two weeks ago the city was filled with the beautiful sunshine Mother Nature finally decided to bless us with. The patios were bursting with people ready to indulge in the new Summer weather. I was meeting up with my friend Natalie to have a pitcher and some dirty pub food. It was our day to splurge! But when Natalie arrived I could tell that her head was somewhere else.
After holding a thirty minute conversation with myself I blurted, “Ok, spill! What’s on your mind?” And just like that the flood gates were open. She talked about how her boyfriend and her haven’t had sex for three weeks, how she felt like his mother cleaning up after him, how he never instigated sex, and how she found herself considering what it would be like to be single. I wasn’t able to get a word in for almost twenty minutes until she blurted out her last line, “I love him, but like you would love your brother or something.”
Finally I had my first line, “Ok, that last sentence was wrong in so many ways.” We laughed. Natalie looked so relieved after her rant. She just needed to tell someone what was on her mind without being made to feel guilty. But “judgement” is not my style. I told her that there are many different things to think about when you believe that a relationship is coming to an end. But, the only thing you can do in the end is what is right for you.
So comes the question. How do you know when the relationship is over? When are those claustrophobic feelings a sign to move on? Are those hopeful thoughts of a life without our partner just a temporary rough patch? Or is it a sign that the relationship had finished blossoming and it’s time for the flower to wilt? When is enough, just enough? And when is it the time to realize that we just need to be a little selfish and do what is right for us?