You Are Replaceable

We finally encouraged Mimi to go on a date.  Mimi is the girl in the office who spends more time on Pinterest then talking to boys.  She is beautiful, too innocent for words, and is saving herself for marriage. So when we finally convinced her to go on a date with this guy she met on Match.com the office was ecstatic.

However, the next day Mimi looked distraught.  After poking around for the details of her date Mimi told us the guy was just a horny bastard.  Supposedly her date was going to take her to this great dessert place close to his apartment and advised her to meet him at his place.  Number one rule in the dating world ladies, if he asks you to come to his house on the first date he just wants to have sex.  DON’T DO IT!!  When Mimi finally arrived he basically whipped his dick out and tried to go up her skirt.  Mimi was in her car minutes later driving home, mortified with the situation.

One thing I can’t stand when dating is this mentality some men have of thinking they have to right to have sex with you.  It never ceases to amaze me how a man thinks that he is the shit and that you are just dying to jump into bed with him.  Are these men delusional or just stupid?  I mean, you have to work to get into my pants.  And you better be taking me to a damn nice restaurant if you think I am going home to bed with you.  Hell, I could pick up a man off the corner the street that would be hotter than you.  Take Beyoncé’s message and don’t think you are irreplaceable because you are not God’s gift to women.

After listening to Mimi’s tragic dating story the girls of the office shared their own tragic first date situations to cheer her up.  I think it worked because this fierce virgin looked at us and said, “Well his dick wasn’t big enough anyways.”

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2 thoughts on “You Are Replaceable

  1. If I learned anything from How I Met Your Mother, it is that desperate measures actually work sometimes and for some the constant rejection is worth the payoff. The Naked Man works 1/3 of the time, you know!

    Poor Mimi, though. I bet she is scared of dating and penises now.

    • LOL, well Mimi might have to stay away from men and their penises for a while but I am sure she will jump back on the dating wagon soon. You are right though about how the chances of having sex are more likely to happen when the man is standing naked infront of you. I just can’t stand it when they think just because you agreed to go on a coffee date with them they think it means sex. Now mind you that is not all men, it is only a few bad apples that spoil the batch.
      Love your insights Olympia, you always add to the convo:)

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