You Have To Love Yourself First

The other day my “Lipstick Lesbian” friend, Monica met me in Liberty Village for a coffee at Starbucks.  We had a great deal of catching up to do and a walk on King West with a coffee was the perfect remedy for our needs.  I talked about my new social media campaign I finally got my boss’s approval on and Monica talked about her last film audition.  But, naturally our conversation went from career to relationships within an hour.

After Monica did the courteous ‘tell-me-about-moving-in-with-your-boyfriend’ conversation, we quickly moved to her new blossoming relationship.  Monica had been seeing this wonderful woman, Susan who I had met many times and who I absolutely loved.  But, Monica was starting to question some actions her girlfriend was showing about not being fully comfortable with her sexuality.

First, let me just say that Monica’s new girlfriend has probably been the most healthy relationship she has ever had compared to her past asexual lover and ‘Swim Fan’ girl toy.  Susan was very much a ‘Power Lesbian’ with an extremely successful career….. and shoe closet!  Not to mention that Susan treated Monica so well it made me jealous that I didn’t hook her first.  The problem was Susan was not 100% accepting of her own sexuality. There was a situation when Susan ran into co-workers from work and became very secretive about her relationship with Monica.  When Monica confronted her about it Susan said, “This is my first healthy relationship.  I am trying to get used to being ‘out’ in public.”

Susan really cares for Monica and it does not take a rocket scientist to see that.  But, there comes that age-old question;  How can you fully love another if you don’t love yourself first?  I told Monica to be patient because her love and support will help Susan come out of her shell.  But, as I smiled and finished the last bit of my Pike Place roast I couldn’t help but think, when will Susan fully accept herself?  When will Susan realize she is blessed with supportive friends and family who care for her no matter her sexual preference?  And, is Susan willing to lose Monica in the process?


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