The Slapper

The other day at work, just before I was about to pull my hair out from people not responding to my emails, my friend Jade called.  “I have to talk to you immediately!”

“Is everything ok?” As the worst case scenario popped into my head.  Jade continued with urgency in her voice, “Yes, I just need to talk to you.  I am outside your office.  Take a smoke break.”  As I peeked out of my office, I could see Jade frantically waving and said, “I don’t smoke.”  She chuckled and said, “The smoke is not for you, it’s for me!”

I told the office assistant that I was stepping out for a family call and proceeded to the sidewalk where Jade appeared to be chain-smoking.  “You are not going to believe what I am about to tell you,” as she started her story I knew that it was going to be good.

A few weeks ago Jade started taking Jujitsu to help relieve her aggression caused by her recent break-up with her fiance.  However, while she was pounding out her anger at Jujitsu she met a very attractive fighter, Parker.  One day after Jade gave Parker a good smack down in class they decided to go out for coffee.  Coffee led to dinner, which ended up leading to… fun in the bedroom.

So, one night after dinner Jade wrestled her way into Parker’s bedroom.  While the two were getting hot and heavy Jade was pleasantly surprised to find that Parker liked it rough in the sack.  After Parker had asked and received two requested slaps from Jade he decided to take it further.

“He asked me to slap his balls!”  I almost choked on my coffee, “Jade you have to warn me before you just blurt out dirty things like that!”  So supposedly Parker liked his balls slapped.  I looked at her and said, “I am sure he just got caught up in the heat of the moment.”  Jade agreed with me and continued to see her sexy fight-club man.

Yesterday I got a call when I arrived to work.  I picked up the phone and with a nonchalant tone Jade said, “So it’s official, the ball slapping was not just a one time thing.”

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