The Straw That Broke The Relationship’s Back

Late as usual, I found myself throwing cash at the taxi driver as I stumbled into the restaurant.  Sure enough Tessa was waiting at the table for me with a drink in hand to medicate her stress from the week.  I hadn’t seen my friend in ages, so was very excited to catch up with her formally over some vodka.  I threw my coat on the chair, “So what is new my favourite….”

“I am over men and even trying to date them!” Tessa screamed before I could even finish my sentence.  I signed to the bartender to get me a drink and sat attentively to the story of Tessa and her boy-that-went-wrong situation.

Tessa met this very attractive man by the name of Steve.  Steve was tall, dark, and perfectly scruffy.  A dream boat for the trendy-art-scene kind of girl.  Scruff and tattoos, how could you go wrong?

One night Tessa was coming back from the gym and looked at the text message sent by Steve.  “Hey babe, you wanna come over and spend the night with me in my hot tub?”  “Sorry Steve, I am having a girls night at my place tonight,” she texted back.  “They can come hang out in the hot tub too;)” Tessa’s mouth dropped, she was just not the kind of girl who shared.

A second chance.  Steve and Tessa were at dinner.  The night was beautiful; wine, steak, candle light.  Then Tessa felt something rubbing up against her leg.  She looked slighty under the table to see that Steve had taken off his shoe and now was rubbing her leg with his foot.  She looked up to see Steve winking at her, but all that she could think was, “His dirty foot is touching my leg!”

The straw that broke the relationship’s back.  One day Steve and Tessa were arranging a seafood date over text.  “As long as there is lobster at this place I will be content,” texted Tessa.  Steve replied, “Well I am in the mood for some good Calamary.”

Hold the front door! Steve just spelt Calamari completely wrong.  And that was the straw that broke the relationship’s back.

“So you dumped a guy because he spelt Calamari wrong?” I said as I finished off my drink and motioned for another.  “Of course hunny! How do you expect me to date an idiot who can’t spell,” said Tessa as she downed the rest of her drink.  I rolled my eyes, but ultimately agreed with her.


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