It Is Your Story, Not His

The other night I got a call around 12:30 am and when I picked up my phone all I could hear on the other line was frantic crying.  There it was again, another break-up.  This is my third friend this month who has found her relationship come to an end.  Tis the season! I guess forking out money for another Christmas gift is the deciding factor for this season’s break-ups.

I stumbled my way out of the bedroom trying to console my friend while at the same time not trying to disturb my sleeping boyfriend. “I don’t know how this happened! I didn’t even see this coming!” said my friend from the other line.  I tried my best to console her and ended the talk with, “This is a chance to find ‘you’ and grow into yourself.  You will be ok, it will just take time.”

The other day when my boy and I were walking the dog I brought up the fact that it seemed like everyone was breaking up for the holidays.  My boyfriend then surprised me with his next comment, “Hunny I heard you talking the other night on the phone to your friend and I think you were not really giving the best advice.”

“Excuse me?” I was taken aback by my boyfriend’s statement.  “It just sounded like you were telling her what she wanted to hear,” he said, trying to lighten the tone as he just awoken the ‘Black Swan’ within me.  And for the first time I did not have some witty or insightful answer.

I then found myself thinking of how we cope with break-ups and how we hope our friends say things like, “You can do better” or “He was just jealous of your success.”  But, do we really know why their boyfriend called off the romance?  Do we expect or need our friends to tell us the things we want to hear to move on, even though they may not be true?  And do we have to learn something from our break-up to make us feel better about moving on?

After much thinking… and even more dirty martinis, I decided that it is OUR story.  The truth is we will get better, this is not the end of the world.  It may hurt and seem like you cannot live without him, but the truth is your dream man will come into your life.  I may sound like a dreamer, but if we were to just give up what would we have to look forward to in the future?  Yes it hurts now and nothing makes sense, but if you continue to have that hope of finding love your soul mate will come into your life.  And no man, no matter how significant he is in my life, will ever destroy my hope of that one love.   Remember girls, it is your story… NOT his.

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