Confront The Booty Call

funny-image-1016The other day I met my friend Melissa for a quick brunch and Mimosa at the O&B Canteen.  It didn’t take long before brunch turned into chatter about blow jobs.  You know, just the regular brunch talk!  Anyways, Melissa then brought up some news that she was in contact with Richard.

Richard was Melissa’s first true love.  Melissa loved Richard’s dick.  Melissa loved Richard’s handsome style.  Melissa loved Richard’s blue eyes.  Melissa … well, she just loved Richard.  Then one day Richard had to move out of the city for business.  And we all know what moving out-of-town for business ultimately means… breakup!!!  Melissa was so devastated she was in bed for two days straight, and she is one of the toughest gals I know.

So when Melissa told me that Richard had contacted her I thought it time for a stronger drink.  I called the server over, looked at them sweetly and said, “dirty martini please!” Melissa then went on to tell me that he was in town for a few days at the SoHo for business  and wanted to see her.  But, of course Melissa was a very busy woman and only could meet up with him late at night!  And when Richard was about to finalize the plans Melissa texted him, “Don’t think this is a booty call!”

booty-call-hurricane-sandy-electronic-devices-apology-ecards-someecardsWell, Richard seemed somewhat offended in this response.  And just like true Richard form, he somehow gained another late night business meeting and had to cancel their date.  First I felt very sad for Melissa.  What if she didn’t say anything about the booty call? Would he have still met her? Was he ashamed of breaking Melissa’s heart in the past?  Or was he guilty that she called him out on his douchebag move?

And just like Melissa was reading my mind she said, “Don’t worry hunny! I don’t want to ruin my memory of love with Richard with a booty call! If I wanted a real booty call I would head over to the Madison for some college boy attention!”

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