There once was a fabulous girl named Colleen. She had a wonderful apartment, was starting a great career, and was blessed with an amazing boyfriend. You would think she would have been the happiest girl in the world. But something was missing.
Colleen had a wonderful circle of friends. They would laugh together, share dating and relationship drama, and bitch about the small things of life. But, still Colleen felt empty.
Every day Colleen would try and improve herself as an individual. She followed a daily gym regiment to stay in shape and increase her daily endorphins. She would stay up-to-date on all the major news publications so that she always had something to talk about when at a party. But, still Colleen was unhappy.
For there was one thing that Colleen didn’t have in her life. A relationship with herself. You may strive for the best cloths, the best job, or the best boyfriend. But if you do not nurture your personal time you will begin to lose yourself. For how can you live your life to the fullest if you do no nurture the most important relationship you have? The relationship you have with yourself.
This past weekend I went to the yoga studio with my good girlfriend Tina to help center ourselves after a stressful week. Sixty downward dogs and a balanced Chakra later we found ourselves at our regular cafe on Queen West, The Beaver. And naturally after some quick catch-up about work the conversation went towards relationships. Tina then informed me that she started again seeing her toxic crush, Aaron.
Now Aaron was that beautiful guy that any young woman would fall for. He had light brown hair, blue eyes, and was an “artist”. Which roughly translates into a player who you will probably have to support financially until you have finally shaken his deadbeat ass off of your ‘gravy train.’ I had a bitter taste about Aaron from the beginning when he showed no sign of committing to Tina. And just to my dismay… he was back!
“He just got out of a bad relationship with his ex and doesn’t want to rush into anything right now,” Tina explained as if she was trying to convince herself that she was fine with that fact. “And besides there is no one special in my life and he makes me feel good when he is around. So what is wrong with that?”
Instantly my inner rage was back in full swing and I found myself thinking, as I ordered a Mimosa, “Well, so much for Yoga!” But this is something we all do as young hopefuls in this challenging game of love. We put aside our best interests for men who, quite frankly will refuse to ever give us what we really want and deserve… a relationship! And how are you actually going to find Mr. Perfect if you are constantly distracted by half-ass relationships that are moving slower than the King Street car during rush hour?
As soon as my Mimosa was brought to the table I raised my glass to Tina to make a toast to both our well-being for the week. And as our glasses clinked, I smiled and said, “Here’s to trimming the fat!”
I was running around the condo frantically trying to get ready for the girls to come over. It was months since we last got together and I was excited to be back with everyone again. And as I was unsuccessfully trying to make the party snacks, three other girls were rushing out their doors.
Sheila came dashing out the door of her east end house towards the taxi that was waiting for her at the end of the driveway. Slamming the door behind her Sheila looked at the taxi driver and said, “Liberty Village please!” Once she caught the taxi drivers eye in the rear view mirror, she batted her eyelashes, “Oh, and can we make it there in less than 10 minutes!”
Natalie almost cried with joy when she pulled out a pair of heels from her closet that were not yet murdered by her new puppy. “Now Elliott, please behave and mommy will give you a treat when I get home.” Elliott cocked his head at the comment as if to imply he didn’t understand what she was talking about. Natalie quickly gave Elliott a kiss on the head and as she walked out the door thought, “It is finally nice to have a man that I can train.”
In the beautiful High Park area, Mel was finishing her glass of red wine before grabbing her Burberry jacket. She looked at her watch to see that she was running on perfect time. Knowing the other girls and their fashionably late track records, she knew that she had time for one last glass of wine.
Finally everyone had made it to my place and was enjoying each other’s company while sipping on my fabulous home-made dirty martinis. Despite the few career advances it was as if we spent no time apart at all. And like true form Natalie blurted, “You will never guess what happened the other night when this guy took me out on a date!” And just like that, the girls were back in ‘The Game.’
A few years ago my friend Lulu was in the city visiting from out West. We decided to catch up in fashion with many, many drinks. But, it was not only the drinks that Lulu and I had our eyes on, our server was Latin and was hot, hot, hot!!! It wasn’t long till the liquid courage started developing in Lulu and I and we started clearly flirting with the waiter.
As the bill came and Lulu went to the washroom to freshen up, the alcohol made my naughtiness come out in full bloom. I took a pen out of my bag and wrote a ‘thank you’ followed by a smily face with Lulu’s number! Of course to keep the whole plan a secret I told Lulu that I was going to pay for dinner.
As the server came by to pick up my credit card he noticed the number and gave me a look of confusion. I put my finger on my lips and motioned to him that the number was Lulu’s. He then looked at Lulu with his beautiful Latin eyes and smiled at her before leaving the table. Lulu looked at me with giddiness and said, “He is such a sexy man!”
Later that night when we were watching a horribly graphic movie, which Lulu said received great reviews, the Latin server texted her. She was shocked and screamed (during the movie), “How did he get my number?” I smiled and that was answer enough for Lulu. Later that week during her visit Lulu and the Latin had gone on many dates.
Two years later Lulu let me know she was coming down to visit again. And just as I was about to make arrangements for her stay she said, “Don’t worry about it love! I am staying with my Latin lover!”
As the clock strikes Midnight thousands of young hopefuls are kissing. Whether you are smooching your perfect boyfriend, your best friend, or kissing a guy whose name you don’t remember, you are ultimately trying to create your prosperity for the new year.
But, what we don’t realize is that we give that new year’s good luck to ourselves! How is it that there is so much pressure on the new year’s kiss? Is the guy you just met outside the washroom two minutes ago really going to bring you good luck for the new year? I don’t quite think that is how it works.
I think creating your new year’s resolution is all about the lessons you learned from your previous year’s mistakes. I think the only way to learn and further develop is by getting messy and making mistakes. Because, how else will you realize what you don’t want in life!
So my new year’s resolution is to take each day as it comes, shoot for my dreams… and be fabulous!