Mr. Clingy

2234617585_3pnhfc_xlargeI was just finishing at the gym in Liberty Village when I was surprised to see many frantic texts from Kaitlyn. “Remember when I said that I told Nathan that we were just going to be friends? Well, last night when we were out he introduced me to his friends as his GIRLFRIEND!!” I felt bad that her annoying love life was my main source of entertainment this week. “And his profile pic on Facebook is of him and I!” She sounded like she was having a meltdown. “OMG, he is calling me right now!” Poor Kaitlyn, I hope she has some extra percocets to get through this one.

Kaitlyn had just hit that frame of mind after the ending of a long-term relationship where you finally feel that it is ok to be single. Unfortunately, that was when Nathan (a.k.a “Mr. Clingy”) came into the picture. He was tall, beautiful and worked in the music industry. I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty perfect to me. And so did Kaitlyn, until one day when Mr. Perfect turned into Mr. Clingy.

After a few weeks of seeing each other, and a few too many cocktails, Kaitlyn had accidentally agreed to becoming more than just friends with Nathan. However, she was not at all ready for what she would face the next day.

Mr Clingy“He wouldn’t leave! He wanted to cuddle the whole day, and his morning breath was so bad!!!” I tried to contain my laughter and be more supportive when Kaitlyn was showing signs of fleeing the City. “I finally made my friend text me to say that she just “broke-up” with her boyfriend so that I had an excuse to leave.”

Even though Kaitlyn was extremely annoyed by the love from Mr. Clingy, I was very happy to see her confidence in being independent. I mean, we all see girls break-up with the love of their life to only run to another man a week later. Hell, I am even guilty of that sin. But, is being alone really that bad? Do we need to have our love jump from one man to the next without anytime to heal? And, can we fully embrace and find peace within being alone?

Well one thing is for sure, Kaitlyn has no trouble being an independent woman and I love her for it. I just hope Mr. Clingy is as accepting of her independence.

Confront The Booty Call

funny-image-1016The other day I met my friend Melissa for a quick brunch and Mimosa at the O&B Canteen.  It didn’t take long before brunch turned into chatter about blow jobs.  You know, just the regular brunch talk!  Anyways, Melissa then brought up some news that she was in contact with Richard.

Richard was Melissa’s first true love.  Melissa loved Richard’s dick.  Melissa loved Richard’s handsome style.  Melissa loved Richard’s blue eyes.  Melissa … well, she just loved Richard.  Then one day Richard had to move out of the city for business.  And we all know what moving out-of-town for business ultimately means… breakup!!!  Melissa was so devastated she was in bed for two days straight, and she is one of the toughest gals I know.

So when Melissa told me that Richard had contacted her I thought it time for a stronger drink.  I called the server over, looked at them sweetly and said, “dirty martini please!” Melissa then went on to tell me that he was in town for a few days at the SoHo for business  and wanted to see her.  But, of course Melissa was a very busy woman and only could meet up with him late at night!  And when Richard was about to finalize the plans Melissa texted him, “Don’t think this is a booty call!”

booty-call-hurricane-sandy-electronic-devices-apology-ecards-someecardsWell, Richard seemed somewhat offended in this response.  And just like true Richard form, he somehow gained another late night business meeting and had to cancel their date.  First I felt very sad for Melissa.  What if she didn’t say anything about the booty call? Would he have still met her? Was he ashamed of breaking Melissa’s heart in the past?  Or was he guilty that she called him out on his douchebag move?

And just like Melissa was reading my mind she said, “Don’t worry hunny! I don’t want to ruin my memory of love with Richard with a booty call! If I wanted a real booty call I would head over to the Madison for some college boy attention!”

I’m Done

Sometimes even the most beautiful relationship comes to an end.  Those individuals who may look perfect on the outside may really be broken on the inside.  Infected within the core of the relationship resulting in neglect and the decay of a heart.

Sometimes a relationship may be magical from the beginning, but an action or refusal to move forward in the build of a unity results in destruction of trust.  Those may be confronted with temptation, and if they conform to that temptation the loss of a real supportive love system will occur.

Sometimes a person may be scared of their partner’s success.  Not properly supporting their better half results to an internal core consisting of bitterness.  Only time will feed the bitterness to a state that will kill the budding flower of love.

Sometimes an individual may not be comfortable with themselves.  If that person can not respect their inner being and beliefs how can they support those of a loved one.  For if you do not acknowledge your partner and move past your petty problems to see the larger picture, you may lose that love.

Sometimes there is nothing to say when they regret their decisions, other than, “You lost me.”