Sometimes in life we can get so caught up in material things. I don’t have enough money for those shoes, my rent is too high, he didn’t spend enough money on my anniversary gift. But, in the end things are just things and when we are all stripped from our every day materials the most important support is love.
A nice pair of shoes or big pay cheque doesn’t support you when a family member dies. Or when you lose that job promotion. Or just when you had a bad day. Material things are nice but they only make you feel better for a short time. It is the love from a special person that has eternal life. Love sometimes might not seem like much because it is free, but at the end of the day it is worth more than anything money can buy.
Hey readers, I am really happy to post a blog written by a close friend of mine. She mentioned writing a blog one night over martinis and said, “I really want to put my two cents in on this issue!” It sounded personal so I was very excited to see what she would write, so without further adieu here is her amazing post!
We all know girls in a long-term relationship who have a really close boyfriend. Or we know a girl who is the friend of the ‘taken’ boy that always has people wonder about their ‘friendship’. Which leaves the age-old question ‘Can two people of different genders just be friends?’
I’ve always been able to make friends easily. Friends of all different types of relationship statuses; Girlfriends, Boyfriends, single… and fabulous. I have never had an issue in the friend department. But for the girls of my ‘Guy Friends’ that lingering question always came up. ‘Has anything ever happened between you two?’
Not until I got into a relationship did I fully understand that insecurity. It’s one thing to trust your partner fully but it’s another to wonder why another girl is so close to him. It makes you feel like there isn’t a special closeness in your relationship. Is there a line? And where do we draw the line? And does this line depend on trust?
I personally think it’s all about the relationship. If you have a high level of communication and you feel like your partner respects you, there will always be room to discuss things that are on your mind. Whether those thoughts are large or small, your lover shouldn’t dismiss your emotions. Yes, it could be a jealousy issue if it comes up over and over, but that is something that also should be discussed.
I am sure it’s not easy for my partner to date someone who struggles to turn off her ‘flirt’. And it’s hard to deny the ‘chemistry’ between two people who may just be friends. But the choice to come home to him or to go home with someone else always falls on the table. In life I think I’m going to run into many ‘soul-mates’ but some will be friends, lovers, or even mentors. But, whom ever I am dating will hopefully trust that I am with them and nobody else.
It was a lovely, work-free night at the apartment. Two roommates, some avocado face masks, and a few glasses of home-made apple martinis later when we discovered on Facebook that our mutual friend Marisa was engaged.
And there it was, that awkward moment of disbelief, bitterness, and an ounce of jealousy. The feelings we all experience once we have discovered that one of our friends is getting hitched. “If I have to go to another wedding this year I am going to impale myself on the CN tower!” Sheila, one of my roommates, is a hot up and coming Toronto actress that shares a strong resemblance to Sandra Bullock and unfortunately has been to three friends weddings this year. “First comes marriage, then comes pregnancy and then you might as well kiss your life goodbye, because no one is going to hire you with throw-up on your shoulder!”
“Great, my friends are planning a wedding and I can’t even pay next months rent,” says my other roommate Robin as she reaches for her apple martini and finishes it with one gulp. Robin is a gorgeous blonde with blue eyes, a boyfriend in the army and real cleavage that woman envy over. “I just can’t fathom the fact that people share this shit on Facebook, marriage posted beside a video of Honey Badger.”
I quickly try to change this topic by throwing in our favorite episode of Sex and the City, you know the one where Carrie gets to walk down the runway. As my roommates start laughing with the girls of Manhattan, I go to make some more martinis and then the question hits….. what happened to happy couples just staying …. well not married. Today people are either getting married to the love of their life or can’t even hold down a man for two weeks.
In today’s society there is either extremely rich people or extremely poor people, with the middle class slowly moving to extinction. Are relationships starting to represent the class structure? Where are the couples that just live in the moment of the relationship? Or is every couple planning on where to be registered for their wedding gifts? Where is the middle ground? What about the couples that focus on when they are having sex next or the people who are just happy that they finally have their own drawer in their lover’s apartment? Do we have to rush down the aisle the second we have dated someone for a few months? I mean honestly, what is the hurry to get married? When did days of “this is my boyfriend” turn into “this is my fiance?” Or are there only two categories; happily married and happily single?