The Best Kind of Support: Love

1246549971_9bc1e71a79Sometimes in life we can get so caught up in material things.  I don’t have enough money for those shoes, my rent is too high, he didn’t spend enough money on my anniversary gift.  But, in the end things are just things and when we are all stripped from our every day materials the most important support is love.

A nice pair of shoes or big pay cheque doesn’t support you when a family member dies. Or when you lose that job promotion.  Or just when you had a bad day.  Material things are nice but they only make you feel better for a short time.  It is the love from a special person that has eternal life.  Love sometimes might not seem like much because it is free, but at the end of the day it is worth more than anything money can buy.

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The Reunion

getting-readyI was running around the condo frantically trying to get ready for the girls to come over. It was months since we last got together and I was excited to be back with everyone again. And as I was unsuccessfully trying to make the party snacks, three other girls were rushing out their doors.

Sheila came dashing out the door of her east end house towards the taxi that was waiting for her at the end of the driveway. Slamming the door behind her Sheila looked at the taxi driver and said, “Liberty Village please!” Once she caught the taxi drivers eye in the rear view mirror, she batted her eyelashes, “Oh, and can we make it there in less than 10 minutes!”

Natalie almost cried with joy when she pulled out a pair of heels from her closet that were not yet murdered by her new puppy. “Now Elliott, please behave and mommy will give you a treat when I get home.” Elliott cocked his head at the comment as if to imply he didn’t understand what she was talking about. Natalie quickly gave Elliott a kiss on the head and as she walked out the door thought, “It is finally nice to have a man that I can train.”

9405In the beautiful High Park area, Mel was finishing her glass of red wine before grabbing her Burberry jacket. She looked at her watch to see that she was running on perfect time. Knowing the other girls and their fashionably late track records, she knew that she had time for one last glass of wine.

Finally everyone had made it to my place and was enjoying each other’s company while sipping on my fabulous home-made dirty martinis. Despite the few career advances it was as if we spent no time apart at all. And like true form Natalie blurted, “You will never guess what happened the other night when this guy took me out on a date!” And just like that, the girls were back in ‘The Game.’

The Difference Between Girlfriends and ‘Girl Friends’

Hey readers, I am really happy to post a blog written by a close friend of mine.  She mentioned writing a blog one night over martinis and said, “I really want to put my two cents in on this issue!”  It sounded personal so I was very excited to see what she would write, so without further adieu here is her amazing post!

We all know girls in a long-term relationship who have a really close boyfriend.  Or we know a girl who is the friend of the ‘taken’ boy that always has people wonder about their ‘friendship’. Which leaves the age-old question ‘Can two people of different genders just be friends?’

I’ve always been able to make friends easily. Friends of all different types of relationship statuses; Girlfriends, Boyfriends, single… and fabulous. I have never had an issue in the friend department. But for the girls of my ‘Guy Friends’ that lingering question always came up. ‘Has anything ever happened between you two?’

Not until I got into a relationship did I fully understand that insecurity. It’s one thing to trust your partner fully but it’s another to wonder why another girl is so close to him. It makes you feel like there isn’t a special closeness in your relationship. Is there a line? And where do we draw the line? And does this line depend on trust?

I personally think it’s all about the relationship. If you have a high level of communication and you feel like your partner respects you, there will always be room to discuss things that are on your mind. Whether those thoughts are large or small, your lover shouldn’t dismiss your emotions. Yes, it could be a jealousy issue if it comes up over and over, but that is something that also should be discussed.

I am sure it’s not easy for my partner to date someone who struggles to turn off her ‘flirt’. And it’s hard to deny the ‘chemistry’ between two people who may just be friends. But the choice to come home to him or to go home with someone else always falls on the table. In life I think I’m going to run into many ‘soul-mates’ but some will be friends, lovers, or even mentors. But, whom ever I am dating will hopefully trust that I am with them and nobody else.

The Hardest Breakup

Breakups.  We all have been through one.  They trigger depression, anger, and slight bipolar behaviours.  And even though you feel like at the time you will never be able to pull yourself out of bed, the feeling eventually passes.  Because really when you think of it, the city is crawling with men and if that jerk wasn’t smart enough to snatch you up another guy will.  And of course a little bit of retail shopping is sure to get you out of any post-traumatic stress from a breakup.

But what about those relationships that are stronger than any connection with a man?  They are there for you through career promotions, bad breakups and accept the weird little habits you have when no one is watching.  What happens when you and your good girlfriend have to go your separate ways?  You can’t just go to your local neighborhood bar and find another best girlfriend.

I mean life happens; people get married, separate work lives get busy, or someone leaves the city.  How do you deal with that breakup?  Fortunately it is not like a breakup with a man where you probably won’t ever hear from them again or you hope you never run into them at the grocery store.  No matter where your separate lives may go your girlfriend will always have a place in your heart.  But is it enough?  Even though they hold a spot in your life what happens when you accidentally pass your favourite bar full of friendship memories?  Sometimes it is hard to look back with happiness when all you want is your friend back.

I don’t know how you feel, but the worst breakup is when you lose one of your girlfriends.  Yes you call each other every few weeks, or have a coffee once every few months to catch up, but it’s not like it was.  Sometimes we take for granted our girlfriends and finally realize how much they mean to us when they are gone.  Sometimes the wounds of a girlfriend breakup are deeper than those of a relationship breakup.  Yes the wounds heal in the end, they just take longer.