Mr. Clingy

2234617585_3pnhfc_xlargeI was just finishing at the gym in Liberty Village when I was surprised to see many frantic texts from Kaitlyn. “Remember when I said that I told Nathan that we were just going to be friends? Well, last night when we were out he introduced me to his friends as his GIRLFRIEND!!” I felt bad that her annoying love life was my main source of entertainment this week. “And his profile pic on Facebook is of him and I!” She sounded like she was having a meltdown. “OMG, he is calling me right now!” Poor Kaitlyn, I hope she has some extra percocets to get through this one.

Kaitlyn had just hit that frame of mind after the ending of a long-term relationship where you finally feel that it is ok to be single. Unfortunately, that was when Nathan (a.k.a “Mr. Clingy”) came into the picture. He was tall, beautiful and worked in the music industry. I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty perfect to me. And so did Kaitlyn, until one day when Mr. Perfect turned into Mr. Clingy.

After a few weeks of seeing each other, and a few too many cocktails, Kaitlyn had accidentally agreed to becoming more than just friends with Nathan. However, she was not at all ready for what she would face the next day.

Mr Clingy“He wouldn’t leave! He wanted to cuddle the whole day, and his morning breath was so bad!!!” I tried to contain my laughter and be more supportive when Kaitlyn was showing signs of fleeing the City. “I finally made my friend text me to say that she just “broke-up” with her boyfriend so that I had an excuse to leave.”

Even though Kaitlyn was extremely annoyed by the love from Mr. Clingy, I was very happy to see her confidence in being independent. I mean, we all see girls break-up with the love of their life to only run to another man a week later. Hell, I am even guilty of that sin. But, is being alone really that bad? Do we need to have our love jump from one man to the next without anytime to heal? And, can we fully embrace and find peace within being alone?

Well one thing is for sure, Kaitlyn has no trouble being an independent woman and I love her for it. I just hope Mr. Clingy is as accepting of her independence.

The Most Important Relationship

IHeartMeHeader-540x360There once was a fabulous girl named Colleen. She had a wonderful apartment, was starting a great career, and was blessed with an amazing boyfriend. You would think she would have been the happiest girl in the world. But something was missing.

Colleen had a wonderful circle of friends. They would laugh together, share dating and relationship drama, and bitch about the small things of life. But, still Colleen felt empty.

Every day Colleen would try and improve herself as an individual. She followed a daily gym regiment to stay in shape and increase her daily endorphins. She would stay up-to-date on all the major news publications so that she always had something to talk about when at a party. But, still Colleen was unhappy.me-time

For there was one thing that Colleen didn’t have in her life. A relationship with herself. You may strive for the best cloths, the best job, or the best boyfriend. But if you do not nurture your personal time you will begin to lose yourself. For how can you live your life to the fullest if you do no nurture the most important relationship you have? The relationship you have with yourself.

You Have To Love Yourself First

The other day my “Lipstick Lesbian” friend, Monica met me in Liberty Village for a coffee at Starbucks.  We had a great deal of catching up to do and a walk on King West with a coffee was the perfect remedy for our needs.  I talked about my new social media campaign I finally got my boss’s approval on and Monica talked about her last film audition.  But, naturally our conversation went from career to relationships within an hour.

After Monica did the courteous ‘tell-me-about-moving-in-with-your-boyfriend’ conversation, we quickly moved to her new blossoming relationship.  Monica had been seeing this wonderful woman, Susan who I had met many times and who I absolutely loved.  But, Monica was starting to question some actions her girlfriend was showing about not being fully comfortable with her sexuality.

First, let me just say that Monica’s new girlfriend has probably been the most healthy relationship she has ever had compared to her past asexual lover and ‘Swim Fan’ girl toy.  Susan was very much a ‘Power Lesbian’ with an extremely successful career….. and shoe closet!  Not to mention that Susan treated Monica so well it made me jealous that I didn’t hook her first.  The problem was Susan was not 100% accepting of her own sexuality. There was a situation when Susan ran into co-workers from work and became very secretive about her relationship with Monica.  When Monica confronted her about it Susan said, “This is my first healthy relationship.  I am trying to get used to being ‘out’ in public.”

Susan really cares for Monica and it does not take a rocket scientist to see that.  But, there comes that age-old question;  How can you fully love another if you don’t love yourself first?  I told Monica to be patient because her love and support will help Susan come out of her shell.  But, as I smiled and finished the last bit of my Pike Place roast I couldn’t help but think, when will Susan fully accept herself?  When will Susan realize she is blessed with supportive friends and family who care for her no matter her sexual preference?  And, is Susan willing to lose Monica in the process?