The Best Kind of Support: Love

1246549971_9bc1e71a79Sometimes in life we can get so caught up in material things.  I don’t have enough money for those shoes, my rent is too high, he didn’t spend enough money on my anniversary gift.  But, in the end things are just things and when we are all stripped from our every day materials the most important support is love.

A nice pair of shoes or big pay cheque doesn’t support you when a family member dies. Or when you lose that job promotion.  Or just when you had a bad day.  Material things are nice but they only make you feel better for a short time.  It is the love from a special person that has eternal life.  Love sometimes might not seem like much because it is free, but at the end of the day it is worth more than anything money can buy.


Mr. Clingy

2234617585_3pnhfc_xlargeI was just finishing at the gym in Liberty Village when I was surprised to see many frantic texts from Kaitlyn. “Remember when I said that I told Nathan that we were just going to be friends? Well, last night when we were out he introduced me to his friends as his GIRLFRIEND!!” I felt bad that her annoying love life was my main source of entertainment this week. “And his profile pic on Facebook is of him and I!” She sounded like she was having a meltdown. “OMG, he is calling me right now!” Poor Kaitlyn, I hope she has some extra percocets to get through this one.

Kaitlyn had just hit that frame of mind after the ending of a long-term relationship where you finally feel that it is ok to be single. Unfortunately, that was when Nathan (a.k.a “Mr. Clingy”) came into the picture. He was tall, beautiful and worked in the music industry. I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty perfect to me. And so did Kaitlyn, until one day when Mr. Perfect turned into Mr. Clingy.

After a few weeks of seeing each other, and a few too many cocktails, Kaitlyn had accidentally agreed to becoming more than just friends with Nathan. However, she was not at all ready for what she would face the next day.

Mr Clingy“He wouldn’t leave! He wanted to cuddle the whole day, and his morning breath was so bad!!!” I tried to contain my laughter and be more supportive when Kaitlyn was showing signs of fleeing the City. “I finally made my friend text me to say that she just “broke-up” with her boyfriend so that I had an excuse to leave.”

Even though Kaitlyn was extremely annoyed by the love from Mr. Clingy, I was very happy to see her confidence in being independent. I mean, we all see girls break-up with the love of their life to only run to another man a week later. Hell, I am even guilty of that sin. But, is being alone really that bad? Do we need to have our love jump from one man to the next without anytime to heal? And, can we fully embrace and find peace within being alone?

Well one thing is for sure, Kaitlyn has no trouble being an independent woman and I love her for it. I just hope Mr. Clingy is as accepting of her independence.

Love and The Ballet

200trocks-200x0Last Wednesday was running… well pretty much like any other day of the week – with me running behind schedule.  An hour before the ballet begins at the Four Seasons Centre, I should be ok.  Boom – Construction! It never ceases to amaze me that on the days you just need a little bit of a time break God throws city construction your way.

I start texting my boyfriend to make sure he is on time himself.  “Hey, lots of construction on Queen, where r u?” He returns the message with a “Just about 2 leave the apt. Am I going 2 get there before u! ;P”  The harmless joke of me being behind schedule rubs me the wrong way as the st. car moves slower than the line of Cheval on a saturday night.  I respond with a short and snippy, “K!”

Just under an hour and the st. car finally makes it to the theatre.  I jump out and frantically run across University.  I get there to meet Tiffany and Alison already at the bar… but where is my boyfriend?  “You better hurry hunny, the ballet is about to start,” says Tiffany as she heads towards the theatre pulling Alison away from a cute guy she has attracted during the pre-ballet drink. Just then my boyfriend arrives with a big smile on his face, “hey babe!”  He quickly gives me a kiss on the forehead as I take no hesitation to get down to couples business.  “We need to discuss when we are getting back from your parent’s on Easter Weekend because I told Tessa we would meet her for brunch on the sunday.”

spice-up-marriage-date-night-800X800Watching incredibly skinny girls dancing in the arms of beautifully muscled men is not what I call fun, but I got a deal on the tickets so I thought it would be nice to have an evening of the arts with my man.  However, I found my mind flitting in and out of everything I needed to catch up on in my life, much like the skinny girls in point shoes on the stage.  I finally have a nice date night with my boyfriend and I can’t seem to control my brain.  Why can’t I just escape this moment and enjoy my time with this beautiful man who allows me to drag him out to boring ballet shows?  Why am I always struggling to keep my head above water with work and life?  And why can’t I get that extension I asked for?

Then, almost as smoothly as the principal male picked up the gorgeous ballet dancer, my boyfriend grabbed for my hand.  And just like that my mind was at rest and I was suddenly in the moment.  I was watching a beautiful ballet, with a beautiful man, and finally able to stop and appreciate my beautiful relationship.

Here’s To Trimming The Fat!

339021-3423-35This past weekend I went to the yoga studio with my good girlfriend Tina to help center ourselves after a stressful week. Sixty downward dogs and a balanced Chakra later we found ourselves at our regular cafe on Queen West, The Beaver. And naturally after some quick catch-up about work the conversation went towards relationships. Tina then informed me that she started again seeing her toxic crush, Aaron.

Now Aaron was that beautiful guy that any young woman would fall for. He had light brown hair, blue eyes, and was an “artist”. Which roughly translates into a player who you will probably have to support financially until you have finally shaken his deadbeat ass off of your ‘gravy train.’ I had a bitter taste about Aaron from the beginning when he showed no sign of committing to Tina. And just to my dismay… he was back!

“He just got out of a bad relationship with his ex and doesn’t want to rush into anything right now,” Tina explained as if she was trying to convince herself that she was fine with that fact. “And besides there is no one special in my life and he makes me feel good when he is around. So what is wrong with that?”

nationalendbadrelationshipdayInstantly my inner rage was back in full swing and I found myself thinking, as I ordered a Mimosa, “Well, so much for Yoga!” But this is something we all do as young hopefuls in this challenging game of love. We put aside our best interests for men who, quite frankly will refuse to ever give us what we really want and deserve… a relationship! And how are you actually going to find Mr. Perfect if you are constantly distracted by half-ass relationships that are moving slower than the King Street car during rush hour?

As soon as my Mimosa was brought to the table I raised my glass to Tina to make a toast to both our well-being for the week. And as our glasses clinked, I smiled and said, “Here’s to trimming the fat!”

The Reunion

getting-readyI was running around the condo frantically trying to get ready for the girls to come over. It was months since we last got together and I was excited to be back with everyone again. And as I was unsuccessfully trying to make the party snacks, three other girls were rushing out their doors.

Sheila came dashing out the door of her east end house towards the taxi that was waiting for her at the end of the driveway. Slamming the door behind her Sheila looked at the taxi driver and said, “Liberty Village please!” Once she caught the taxi drivers eye in the rear view mirror, she batted her eyelashes, “Oh, and can we make it there in less than 10 minutes!”

Natalie almost cried with joy when she pulled out a pair of heels from her closet that were not yet murdered by her new puppy. “Now Elliott, please behave and mommy will give you a treat when I get home.” Elliott cocked his head at the comment as if to imply he didn’t understand what she was talking about. Natalie quickly gave Elliott a kiss on the head and as she walked out the door thought, “It is finally nice to have a man that I can train.”

9405In the beautiful High Park area, Mel was finishing her glass of red wine before grabbing her Burberry jacket. She looked at her watch to see that she was running on perfect time. Knowing the other girls and their fashionably late track records, she knew that she had time for one last glass of wine.

Finally everyone had made it to my place and was enjoying each other’s company while sipping on my fabulous home-made dirty martinis. Despite the few career advances it was as if we spent no time apart at all. And like true form Natalie blurted, “You will never guess what happened the other night when this guy took me out on a date!” And just like that, the girls were back in ‘The Game.’

Serving Love

loveA few years ago my friend Lulu was in the city visiting from out West.  We decided to catch up in fashion with many, many drinks.  But, it was not only the drinks that Lulu and I had our eyes on, our server was Latin and was hot, hot, hot!!!  It wasn’t long till the liquid courage started developing in Lulu and I and we started clearly flirting with the waiter.

As the bill came and Lulu went to the washroom to freshen up, the alcohol made my naughtiness come out in full bloom.  I took a pen out of my bag and wrote a ‘thank you’ followed by a smily face with Lulu’s number!  Of course to keep the whole plan a secret I told Lulu that I was going to pay for dinner.

As the server came by to pick up my credit card he noticed the number and gave me a look of confusion.  I put my finger on my lips and motioned to him that the number was Lulu’s.  He then looked at Lulu with his beautiful Latin eyes and smiled at her before leaving the table.  Lulu looked at me with giddiness and said, “He is such a sexy man!”

img-thingLater that night when we were watching a horribly graphic movie, which Lulu said received great reviews, the Latin server texted her.  She was shocked and screamed (during the movie), “How did he get my number?”  I smiled and that was answer enough for Lulu.  Later that week during her visit Lulu and the Latin had gone on many dates.

Two years later Lulu let me know she was coming down to visit again.  And just as I was about to make arrangements for her stay she said, “Don’t worry about it love! I am staying with my Latin lover!”

My New Year’s Resolution – Being Fabulous!

SP-Toronto_New-Years-Party-600x400As the clock strikes Midnight thousands of young hopefuls are kissing.  Whether you are smooching your perfect boyfriend, your best friend, or kissing a guy whose name you don’t remember, you are ultimately trying to create your prosperity for the new year.

But, what we don’t realize is that we give that new year’s good luck to ourselves! How is it that there is so much pressure on the new year’s kiss?  Is the guy you just met outside the washroom two minutes ago really going to bring you good luck for the new year?  I don’t quite think that is how it works.

I think creating your new year’s resolution is all about the lessons you learned from your previous year’s mistakes.  I think the only way to learn and further develop is by getting messy and making mistakes.  Because, how else will you realize what you don’t want in life!

So my new year’s resolution is to take each day as it comes, shoot for my dreams… and be fabulous!

Confront The Booty Call

funny-image-1016The other day I met my friend Melissa for a quick brunch and Mimosa at the O&B Canteen.  It didn’t take long before brunch turned into chatter about blow jobs.  You know, just the regular brunch talk!  Anyways, Melissa then brought up some news that she was in contact with Richard.

Richard was Melissa’s first true love.  Melissa loved Richard’s dick.  Melissa loved Richard’s handsome style.  Melissa loved Richard’s blue eyes.  Melissa … well, she just loved Richard.  Then one day Richard had to move out of the city for business.  And we all know what moving out-of-town for business ultimately means… breakup!!!  Melissa was so devastated she was in bed for two days straight, and she is one of the toughest gals I know.

So when Melissa told me that Richard had contacted her I thought it time for a stronger drink.  I called the server over, looked at them sweetly and said, “dirty martini please!” Melissa then went on to tell me that he was in town for a few days at the SoHo for business  and wanted to see her.  But, of course Melissa was a very busy woman and only could meet up with him late at night!  And when Richard was about to finalize the plans Melissa texted him, “Don’t think this is a booty call!”

booty-call-hurricane-sandy-electronic-devices-apology-ecards-someecardsWell, Richard seemed somewhat offended in this response.  And just like true Richard form, he somehow gained another late night business meeting and had to cancel their date.  First I felt very sad for Melissa.  What if she didn’t say anything about the booty call? Would he have still met her? Was he ashamed of breaking Melissa’s heart in the past?  Or was he guilty that she called him out on his douchebag move?

And just like Melissa was reading my mind she said, “Don’t worry hunny! I don’t want to ruin my memory of love with Richard with a booty call! If I wanted a real booty call I would head over to the Madison for some college boy attention!”

The Holiday Boyfriend

gty_holidating_mistletoe_man_thg_111205_wgYou walk down the street with your Burberry jacket as the snow is gently falling.  You are excited about the gift you are able to purchase at Holt Renfrew for the most important person on your list… yourself.  And just as you are about to end the perfect holiday evening, you feel like you are hit by an emotional wall as a couple walks by, all misty eyed by the holiday season.

What about single people? Is Christmas time as picture perfect for them?  Or do you need to be in a relationship to feel complete for the holiday season?  For God sakes, they sing “conspire by the fire,” in that one Christmas song and they don’t mean by yourself with your trusty toy… The Rabbit!

One year when I was experiencing the Holiday blues, brought on by the lack of man material in my life, my roommates and I came up with the hottest item that should be on every single gals wish list… The Holiday Boyfriend.

BoyfriendForChristmas7What is The Holiday Boyfriend you may ask! Well let me tell you.  A Holiday Boyfriend is a wonderful man friend (who you may not envision marrying) whom you can become intimate with during the cold holiday season.  Because let’s be honest, no one wants to be single during this romantic holiday!  So, why not order your own boy toy for the Christmas season?  You can build a snowman together, buy each other little gifts, and do all the other things couples do during the holidays, especially conspiring by the fire!!

So, I say get out there and start holding interviews for your Holiday Boyfriend.  You may be pleasantly surprised with the amount of men that qualify.  For that matter you may have two!  And don’t worry about having them stick around past the holiday season.  That is what the New Year is for… New Year’s resolutions like being single!!!

A Letter To The Newly Single and Fabulous

writing-a-letterTo the newly single and fabulous,

I know that it may hurt when they say goodbye.  I know that you may question what you did wrong, when there really was nothing you could control.  I know you may have times where you want to impale yourself on the CN Tower.  And I definitely know that there may be times when you want to impale your ex on the CN Tower.

But, just know that there is always someone there for you when you are treading through the hurt.  Friends will always be there for a shoulder to cry on or an ear to bitch to.  And nothing will ever replace that feeling you get when you move on a realize that your search for love is far from over.

And just remember when that time comes look into the sky and scream, “Tonight I’m getting over you!”