Sometimes in life we can get so caught up in material things. I don’t have enough money for those shoes, my rent is too high, he didn’t spend enough money on my anniversary gift. But, in the end things are just things and when we are all stripped from our every day materials the most important support is love.
A nice pair of shoes or big pay cheque doesn’t support you when a family member dies. Or when you lose that job promotion. Or just when you had a bad day. Material things are nice but they only make you feel better for a short time. It is the love from a special person that has eternal life. Love sometimes might not seem like much because it is free, but at the end of the day it is worth more than anything money can buy.
I was just finishing at the gym in Liberty Village when I was surprised to see many frantic texts from Kaitlyn. “Remember when I said that I told Nathan that we were just going to be friends? Well, last night when we were out he introduced me to his friends as his GIRLFRIEND!!” I felt bad that her annoying love life was my main source of entertainment this week. “And his profile pic on Facebook is of him and I!” She sounded like she was having a meltdown. “OMG, he is calling me right now!” Poor Kaitlyn, I hope she has some extra percocets to get through this one.
Kaitlyn had just hit that frame of mind after the ending of a long-term relationship where you finally feel that it is ok to be single. Unfortunately, that was when Nathan (a.k.a “Mr. Clingy”) came into the picture. He was tall, beautiful and worked in the music industry. I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty perfect to me. And so did Kaitlyn, until one day when Mr. Perfect turned into Mr. Clingy.
After a few weeks of seeing each other, and a few too many cocktails, Kaitlyn had accidentally agreed to becoming more than just friends with Nathan. However, she was not at all ready for what she would face the next day.
“He wouldn’t leave! He wanted to cuddle the whole day, and his morning breath was so bad!!!” I tried to contain my laughter and be more supportive when Kaitlyn was showing signs of fleeing the City. “I finally made my friend text me to say that she just “broke-up” with her boyfriend so that I had an excuse to leave.”
Even though Kaitlyn was extremely annoyed by the love from Mr. Clingy, I was very happy to see her confidence in being independent. I mean, we all see girls break-up with the love of their life to only run to another man a week later. Hell, I am even guilty of that sin. But, is being alone really that bad? Do we need to have our love jump from one man to the next without anytime to heal? And, can we fully embrace and find peace within being alone?
Well one thing is for sure, Kaitlyn has no trouble being an independent woman and I love her for it. I just hope Mr. Clingy is as accepting of her independence.
“I am so happy I have finally found a guy that I could see myself marrying!” Sarah was so excited she didn’t need that Pike Place venti from Starbucks. “You just met the guy, why are you getting your hopes up so quickly?” I was still a little hung over from the night before and not yet ready for Sarah and her ‘he-is-my-future-husband’ talks.
“But this one is different I just know,” Sarah said with a twinkle in her eye that made my vodka-filled stomach turn. “You always put yourself into these situations where the guy does not measure up to your expectations or you just end up doing something crazy like accidentally sleeping with someone’s dad,” I said knowing I had hit a sensitive spot. “I told you to never talk about that situation again,” Sarah said trying to give me the scariest glare she could muster. “And besides I know I am right about this guy.”
A few weeks ago Sarah had met William at an art opening on Queen West in which they shared a mutual love over abstract photography. After a beautiful night of great conversation and looking at wonderful art Sarah and William had exchanged numbers. The second she got home William texted her, “I had a wonderful night with u. Would u be free 4 din next wk?” And from there began Sarah’s love infatuation.
Due to both of their busy schedules they were only able to get together on the weekends, but that did not stop their romantic texting. “Ur eyes r so beautiful I could stare at them 4ever,” he would write her almost every day. “I am so happy to have found a man who is such a gentleman,” she would respond.
Days had past and Sarah had never been so attached to her phone before. Almost grabbing at the phone before the text had arrived proved to Sarah that she was in fact smitten with her dear William and was happy that with her horrible track record had found a decent guy.
Then, one evening after William dropped Sarah off at her apartment after dinner they started sending their good-night texts. Sarah was about to fall asleep into sweet dreams of William brushing her away to his beautiful country home, when she had received a text from William. “It was so hard 2 leave u tonight my love.” Sarah smiled and was half way through writing her response when she got another incoming text from William, “I can’t wait till I am deep inside u and we r fcking like animals.”
Sarah just dropped her phone in horror. She didn’t respond to William ever again.
The following blog post is dedicated to my lovely friend Tessa and her hilarious story!
I was very happy the other night when we all went out for drinks. You remember? You, me, …. and your girlfriend. We all have gone to University together and know each other well, so I thought it would be no hassle to stay the night on your couch while I was visiting the city.
You seemed to be very happy with your girlfriend. Laughing at her jokes and holding her hand. I was just thankful to finally be around a perfectly normal and romantic couple. She even volunteered to be the designated driver for the night so that you and I could have some drinks. She was perfectly lovely.That is why I was completely traumatized by what events occurred later that night.
I waved good-bye to your girlfriend as you kissed and thanked her for the drive home. We then stayed up to watch a bit of TV and eat our Poutini’s fries when you tried to put your arm around me. I thought I was having a drunk hallucination, so decided that it was time for me to go to bed.
As I started to doze off in the spare bedroom, you came in and rested yourself beside me in the bed. I looked at you and said, “Are you kidding me?” And then I was waving down a taxi to take me to another friends place.
So here I am writing you a letter to let you know that you have surpassed the level of ‘asshole’ and that maybe you should reconsider dating your girlfriend.
Last Wednesday was running… well pretty much like any other day of the week – with me running behind schedule. An hour before the ballet begins at the Four Seasons Centre, I should be ok. Boom – Construction! It never ceases to amaze me that on the days you just need a little bit of a time break God throws city construction your way.
I start texting my boyfriend to make sure he is on time himself. “Hey, lots of construction on Queen, where r u?” He returns the message with a “Just about 2 leave the apt. Am I going 2 get there before u! ;P” The harmless joke of me being behind schedule rubs me the wrong way as the st. car moves slower than the line of Cheval on a saturday night. I respond with a short and snippy, “K!”
Just under an hour and the st. car finally makes it to the theatre. I jump out and frantically run across University. I get there to meet Tiffany and Alison already at the bar… but where is my boyfriend? “You better hurry hunny, the ballet is about to start,” says Tiffany as she heads towards the theatre pulling Alison away from a cute guy she has attracted during the pre-ballet drink. Just then my boyfriend arrives with a big smile on his face, “hey babe!” He quickly gives me a kiss on the forehead as I take no hesitation to get down to couples business. “We need to discuss when we are getting back from your parent’s on Easter Weekend because I told Tessa we would meet her for brunch on the sunday.”
Watching incredibly skinny girls dancing in the arms of beautifully muscled men is not what I call fun, but I got a deal on the tickets so I thought it would be nice to have an evening of the arts with my man. However, I found my mind flitting in and out of everything I needed to catch up on in my life, much like the skinny girls in point shoes on the stage. I finally have a nice date night with my boyfriend and I can’t seem to control my brain. Why can’t I just escape this moment and enjoy my time with this beautiful man who allows me to drag him out to boring ballet shows? Why am I always struggling to keep my head above water with work and life? And why can’t I get that extension I asked for?
Then, almost as smoothly as the principal male picked up the gorgeous ballet dancer, my boyfriend grabbed for my hand. And just like that my mind was at rest and I was suddenly in the moment. I was watching a beautiful ballet, with a beautiful man, and finally able to stop and appreciate my beautiful relationship.
There once was a fabulous girl named Colleen. She had a wonderful apartment, was starting a great career, and was blessed with an amazing boyfriend. You would think she would have been the happiest girl in the world. But something was missing.
Colleen had a wonderful circle of friends. They would laugh together, share dating and relationship drama, and bitch about the small things of life. But, still Colleen felt empty.
Every day Colleen would try and improve herself as an individual. She followed a daily gym regiment to stay in shape and increase her daily endorphins. She would stay up-to-date on all the major news publications so that she always had something to talk about when at a party. But, still Colleen was unhappy.
For there was one thing that Colleen didn’t have in her life. A relationship with herself. You may strive for the best cloths, the best job, or the best boyfriend. But if you do not nurture your personal time you will begin to lose yourself. For how can you live your life to the fullest if you do no nurture the most important relationship you have? The relationship you have with yourself.
This past weekend I went to the yoga studio with my good girlfriend Tina to help center ourselves after a stressful week. Sixty downward dogs and a balanced Chakra later we found ourselves at our regular cafe on Queen West, The Beaver. And naturally after some quick catch-up about work the conversation went towards relationships. Tina then informed me that she started again seeing her toxic crush, Aaron.
Now Aaron was that beautiful guy that any young woman would fall for. He had light brown hair, blue eyes, and was an “artist”. Which roughly translates into a player who you will probably have to support financially until you have finally shaken his deadbeat ass off of your ‘gravy train.’ I had a bitter taste about Aaron from the beginning when he showed no sign of committing to Tina. And just to my dismay… he was back!
“He just got out of a bad relationship with his ex and doesn’t want to rush into anything right now,” Tina explained as if she was trying to convince herself that she was fine with that fact. “And besides there is no one special in my life and he makes me feel good when he is around. So what is wrong with that?”
Instantly my inner rage was back in full swing and I found myself thinking, as I ordered a Mimosa, “Well, so much for Yoga!” But this is something we all do as young hopefuls in this challenging game of love. We put aside our best interests for men who, quite frankly will refuse to ever give us what we really want and deserve… a relationship! And how are you actually going to find Mr. Perfect if you are constantly distracted by half-ass relationships that are moving slower than the King Street car during rush hour?
As soon as my Mimosa was brought to the table I raised my glass to Tina to make a toast to both our well-being for the week. And as our glasses clinked, I smiled and said, “Here’s to trimming the fat!”