The Best Kind of Support: Love

1246549971_9bc1e71a79Sometimes in life we can get so caught up in material things.  I don’t have enough money for those shoes, my rent is too high, he didn’t spend enough money on my anniversary gift.  But, in the end things are just things and when we are all stripped from our every day materials the most important support is love.

A nice pair of shoes or big pay cheque doesn’t support you when a family member dies. Or when you lose that job promotion.  Or just when you had a bad day.  Material things are nice but they only make you feel better for a short time.  It is the love from a special person that has eternal life.  Love sometimes might not seem like much because it is free, but at the end of the day it is worth more than anything money can buy.

Serving Love

loveA few years ago my friend Lulu was in the city visiting from out West.  We decided to catch up in fashion with many, many drinks.  But, it was not only the drinks that Lulu and I had our eyes on, our server was Latin and was hot, hot, hot!!!  It wasn’t long till the liquid courage started developing in Lulu and I and we started clearly flirting with the waiter.

As the bill came and Lulu went to the washroom to freshen up, the alcohol made my naughtiness come out in full bloom.  I took a pen out of my bag and wrote a ‘thank you’ followed by a smily face with Lulu’s number!  Of course to keep the whole plan a secret I told Lulu that I was going to pay for dinner.

As the server came by to pick up my credit card he noticed the number and gave me a look of confusion.  I put my finger on my lips and motioned to him that the number was Lulu’s.  He then looked at Lulu with his beautiful Latin eyes and smiled at her before leaving the table.  Lulu looked at me with giddiness and said, “He is such a sexy man!”

img-thingLater that night when we were watching a horribly graphic movie, which Lulu said received great reviews, the Latin server texted her.  She was shocked and screamed (during the movie), “How did he get my number?”  I smiled and that was answer enough for Lulu.  Later that week during her visit Lulu and the Latin had gone on many dates.

Two years later Lulu let me know she was coming down to visit again.  And just as I was about to make arrangements for her stay she said, “Don’t worry about it love! I am staying with my Latin lover!”

It Is Your Story, Not His

The other night I got a call around 12:30 am and when I picked up my phone all I could hear on the other line was frantic crying.  There it was again, another break-up.  This is my third friend this month who has found her relationship come to an end.  Tis the season! I guess forking out money for another Christmas gift is the deciding factor for this season’s break-ups.

I stumbled my way out of the bedroom trying to console my friend while at the same time not trying to disturb my sleeping boyfriend. “I don’t know how this happened! I didn’t even see this coming!” said my friend from the other line.  I tried my best to console her and ended the talk with, “This is a chance to find ‘you’ and grow into yourself.  You will be ok, it will just take time.”

The other day when my boy and I were walking the dog I brought up the fact that it seemed like everyone was breaking up for the holidays.  My boyfriend then surprised me with his next comment, “Hunny I heard you talking the other night on the phone to your friend and I think you were not really giving the best advice.”

“Excuse me?” I was taken aback by my boyfriend’s statement.  “It just sounded like you were telling her what she wanted to hear,” he said, trying to lighten the tone as he just awoken the ‘Black Swan’ within me.  And for the first time I did not have some witty or insightful answer.

I then found myself thinking of how we cope with break-ups and how we hope our friends say things like, “You can do better” or “He was just jealous of your success.”  But, do we really know why their boyfriend called off the romance?  Do we expect or need our friends to tell us the things we want to hear to move on, even though they may not be true?  And do we have to learn something from our break-up to make us feel better about moving on?

After much thinking… and even more dirty martinis, I decided that it is OUR story.  The truth is we will get better, this is not the end of the world.  It may hurt and seem like you cannot live without him, but the truth is your dream man will come into your life.  I may sound like a dreamer, but if we were to just give up what would we have to look forward to in the future?  Yes it hurts now and nothing makes sense, but if you continue to have that hope of finding love your soul mate will come into your life.  And no man, no matter how significant he is in my life, will ever destroy my hope of that one love.   Remember girls, it is your story… NOT his.

The Honeymoon Is Over!

I was franticly running through the streets, literally pushing people out of my way, as my boyfriend called for the second time.  “Where are you? We have been waiting for half an hour!”  I told him I was doing my best, but it was Nuit Blanche so moving through the drunk masses at a good pace was almost impossible.  It also didn’t help that I was already running late.  Does he really expect that I magically look great at the drop of a pin?  Well, maybe I should have been a little less fabulous and wore shoes that were a little more practical!

I had finally met up with my boy and our friends.  I gave everyone the kiss-the-cheek hello and was introduced to my friend’s new love interest.  The two were awfully cute.  And when I say ‘awfully’ cute, I mean they were clearly in that honeymoon stage where they were very affectionate in public.  It was adorable for the first few hours, but then it was like they were just bragging.  I quickly caught up to my boyfriend and grabbed his hand for a little PDA of our own.

The newly-in-love couple would hold hands, they would kiss, they would even share the food they ordered with each other.  Do you remember those days when you and your partner would share each other’s food?  Now you are lucky if they even offer you a small bite without expecting sex in return!

The love-bugs finally set me over the edge when they started rubbing noses at the table.  I leaned over the table and said, “Enjoy the honeymoon stage now.  Soon he will be farting in front of you and the romance is over!”  Just as those words uttered out of my mouth, I watched my boyfriend wipe his dirty hands on his pants like a five-year-old.

Was our honeymoon over? Yes! Was I secretly hating the newly-in-love couple? No, I thought they were the cutest thing I have seen in a long time.  And it was a dear friend of mine, so I was very happy that they found someone that they were so in-love with.  Am I sad that my honeymoon stage is over? Definitely not!!

Just because you are no longer in the honeymoon stage doesn’t mean you love each other any less.  In fact it marks the movement into a new and stronger kind of love.  You ultimately feel comfortable with your partner in every way and that creates a kind of love that you know will stand the test of time.  The kind of love that will not be broken by the little things your boyfriend does.  And when he farts in front of you, you smile and are happy you were able to find the love of your life.